Karen: So, Mr Wilkins, you are applying for the position of sales manager.
W: Yes, which is to say, yes, yes I am.
K: I see, well, how about you start by telling me what you can offer this company.
W: Well, I don't like to blow my own trumpet, but I have a very nice trumpet.
K: You have a nice trumpet.
W: Yes.
K: How do you see this helping the company?
W: Well, if you had something you wanted to sell, I thought I could go outside on the street and blow my trumpet and sort of say 'Buy this'! It's great!
K: Mr Wilkins, we tend to focus on the print and televisual media... not trumpets.
W: Well, I think the trumpet idea still applies, regardless of the medium. You could put a picture of the trumpet in a newspaper, and it would catch people's eye. I imagine they would think 'gosh, look at that trumpet' and then underneath you'd write 'Cool things for sale' and give a PO box number, or a fax.
K: Mr Wilkins, your resume said you had years of experience in online marketing.
W: That may have been a typo.
K: I see. What was it supposed to say.
W: Level six jazz trumpet.
K: Mr Wilkins, I'm afraid you quite clearly have no qualifications whatsoever for this job.
W: No, which is to say, no, I don't.
K: You're a dim witted clot you just happens to have an unhealthy obsession with brass instuments.
W: Actually it's tin, but I take your point.
K: But, that being said, you're the only applicant we've had who isn't asian, so it's a pleasure to have you on board.
W: Gosh, thanks!
K: We'll be in touch.
Wilkins leaves the room. Outside a friend is waiting.
F: How'd it go?
W: Got it, no worries. I just hope she doesn't check up on that trumpet thing.
I find this really gets its strength from the end... from Asian onwards i was pushing air out of my body for laughing purposes.
ReplyDeleteAlthough its one of those sketchs that i seem to be enjoying more the more i think about it.
Call me a moron, but I like it god damn it.
I should make more helpful comments