Gritty Custard.
A: Hey! Check this out
B: Check what out?
A: Well, I was just mucking about in the shed and I put this together,
B: Wow. what is it?
A: Not really sure, but if you press this button it squirts out a thick film of sort of gritty custard.
B: I can see how that would be useful.
A: Well, if you pull this lever it plays the chorus from "Breakfast at Tiffany's".
B: Oh, okay, that's pretty good I guess.
A: Yeah. Look, you can use this hard surface here for smashing the tops of beer bottles.
B: Hmmmm. Does it come with batteries?
A: That's the beauty of it. Yes.
B: What's that smell.
A: There's a possum stuck in there. It think it's distressed. I guess that's another function, it distresses possums.
B: And what's that sort of short pointed stick thing.
A: It's for getting stones out of horses hooves.
B: Lose it. What's it called?
A: I'm torn between 'The Tooth, The Tooth!' and iPod 2.
B: What about 'JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART'
A: Done.
Maybe revise this sketch and make it about someone who has invented 'gritty custard' and is trying to sell it to a food company. He could have a jingle and everything. I think the problem is that I'm trying to write this while watching television. And I don't have a concept before I start writing. This needs to change.
Ps. This is awesome. I really like this. We have to start going into things with no concept if this is what it produces.
ReplyDeleteReally. I like it.
I didnt get the lose it part though.. why remove one of the amazing functions? Maybe if it was useful i would understand. but its as useless as the rest.
Maybe not to someone who rides horses, if the guys who said "lose it" rides horses you should mention that in the sketch to make more sense of the lose it.
Or not.
God damn lets get some of these recorded. (when I get back) (probably) (knowing us, probably not)
(but we still should)
Hey, thanks! That's some lovely commenting. I guess that what I was going for on the 'lose it' bit was an attempt at a lame punchline, being (i'm not sure if you're familiar with the trope about pocket knives that for a long time were made with a sort of little pointed stick thing that no one really knew what was for) that even compared tot he other useless functions, this one is exceptionally useless. Of course, you probably got that, and this explanation is thus just incredibly patronising.
ReplyDeleteBut i'm aware that is still pretty weak.
So yes, I like a little bit of character development to give that some context. Good.