Saturday, May 29, 2010

A Raunchy Sketch


A furniture warehouse. A helpful looking man is standing confidantly by a sumptuous looking bed frame. A couple approach him.

Man: Hi there, looking to buy a bed, are we?

Husband: Yes, yes we are. We've just got married, and our current mattress is very uncomfortable.

Man: And you would like a new bed.

Husband: Yes please.

Man: Well... what about this one here?

Husband: That looks nice.

Man: Doesn't it. Feel the mattress.

Husband: Ohh... Spongy.

Man: Yep.

Husband: Do you mind if we try it out?

Man: Not a problem... (starts to remove shirt)

Husband: Umm... I meant me and my wife....

Man: Of course, sir (starts to button up shirt).

Husband: Actually (slightly put out)... maybe we'd like to try something different.

Man: Certaily sir (starts to remove pants)

Husband: I meant a different mattress.

Man: Aha (puts pants back on). Like this one here?

Husband: That looks good.

Man: Yes, it's a very popular number.

Husband: I can see us and by us I mean my WIFE and I, and no one else, being sleeping very soundly in that.

Man: I could probably see you sleeping very soundly in it also sir.

Husband: You could?

Man: Yes, my apartment overlooks yours, you see, and you don't have any bedroom curtains.

Husband: That makes me slightly uncomfortable.

Man: Oh. I thought it was the mattress making you uncomfortable.

Husband: And now I think it's the curtains.

Man: I see your point.

Husband: And I wish you couldn't. Can you direct me to the curtains department?

Man: No.

Husband: No?

Man: No idea, maybe you should ask one of the staff (runs away)

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